Yes, that is the song lyric. If you think of it in that context, you’ll probably get somewhere close to how I’m feeling right now. In a nice, mellow, clued up mood. Yesterday was more of a Blue Monday. Let’s go back that way.
Wednesday.
I’ve been here for only a couple of hours and I already feel rubbish. I’ve done nothing all week. I’ve spent all week pushing things back and not being particularly bothered about it until I realised that I’ve just spent an entire week doing nothing at all. Instead of hiding the fact that I’d done nothing (I found it difficult to do so anyway, because I was clearly so naffed off with myself), I decided to confide in Steve and John when I went for the personal tutorial. Initially I thought my don’t-care attitude was for no reason, “just a glitch in the system” I’d tell myself.
“Just a one-off bad week.”
If I would have left it like that, this blog post would be extremely different, and I wouldn’t be looking back on myself yesterday, I’d still be the person from yesterday. After having a chat with Steve and John I realised that my problem has been that I’ve been too ambitious with my time planning, leading me to give myself 2 or 3 solid hours to do massive tasks. What I should have done was split these big tasks into smaller ones, which would have made the tasks smaller. This is turn wouldn’t have turned me off to the gargantuan tasks that lie ahead of me. Looking back, I should have realised that no one can realistically complete one whole section of a project in 2-3 hours and I should have planned on a smaller scale, which is exactly the problem I’ve had.
I’m planning too big.
What I’ve thought was a micro level has actually been a macro level, and it’s taken complete and utter self-pity to figure it out. It’s all back on track now though, and I’ve started planning on a micro level and splitting bigger tasks into smaller ones. How can one minor thing change my whole outlook on a project?
I left college feeling burnt out, run down, and worse than I’ve felt since I’ve started the course.
Thursday.
24 little hours does indeed make a difference. At the beginning of the day I was in much the same attitude as the end of yesterday, even though I wouldn’t readily admit it to myself. The burnt out feeling had gone, and I’d completed every task for the tutorial meeting, but I still didn’t feel myself. Not in that way. Where had that proactive, up-for-anything guy disappeared to? Apparently, he’d gone. Even if you look at my blog posts for the last couple of weeks they’ve not been me. They’ve been a former shell of me. Not that I’d noticed previously until a couple of hours ago, because I’ve not thought of it that way. I’m a strong believer of being able to tell what a person is feeling through writing, and when I looked back at those posts I realised that buzz had disappeared from it.
It’s all appeared back after a rousing discussion with Steve and John. It all got very philosophical and prophetic (not pathetic) but Steve started talking about what it is to be a designer. To take from a previous Steve comment: “it isn’t a creative industry, it’s a service industry”. He discussed this in some length, and I listened intently. When he talked about all the down-sides, the lack of sun kissed beaches and designer underwear, I wondered inside my head:
“Do I really have what it takes to be a part of the design industry? Really?”
There’s a simple 3 letter answer to that: Yes.
Say hello again to the Craig that had disappeared.
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3 comments:
I have had a similar week to you, Craig. I have let things slip a little, and you do get a very strong feeling of guilt when you don't have much to show for the 16 hours. I think it will take a while for people to learn to work in small steps rather than long jumps.
At the end of the day it all comes down to self discipline. You are certainly not alone in trying to conquer this.
You are totally not alone on the time planning issue, I didn't have much to show for last week either. If only self discipline was something you could buy at macro.
I am shocked at how much they didn't teach me at university too, I wouldn't mind a refund. Like yourself I covered what I know of the colour wheel at GCSE. At university we all worked with different media so I think it was hard to give a lecture that applied to everyone (I was one of two people that used Digital media).
Having said that colour is a subject that applies to all design.
Craig, I identify with you enormiously! I feel I have a lot on my plate at the moment what with doing the A2 assignment along side the other two.
I too try and do things in big chunks but I have found, like yourself, that uncomplicating things and doing it bit by bit is much easier.
It's a process which we are all learning, your not on your own!
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